Networking for Aliens (Holistic Healers); How to Not Fit in and Thrive Anyway
If you’re a holistic healer (alien) and you’ve been following your calling for years, resistant to the marketing you know you need to do to grow your business, have faith. There is another way to do this, you don’t need to do it like everyone else, and it might just be about being your alien self when you’re out there talking to the zombies.
I say “zombies” with some compassion because I was one for a long time; working to live, passing out my business cards at functions hoping and praying someone would need me, that I was good enough to attract enough clients to make a living.
It’s about these connections, after all.
And if you’re a healer who’s also a business owner, you’re going to have to get used to learning a language that doesn’t sound or feel familiar to you. You’ll need to be comfortable outside your comfort zone.
And…if you’re being true to your badass alien self, you can actually do this whole networking thing your way, instead of dreading and then resenting the time you spend trying to make connections with people you feel just don’t get you.
I went to a function this week. And here’s what happened in my alien mind:
I don’t like networking functions.
I don’t care for superficial chit chat.
I feel an inauthenticity when I’m at these events.
I can hear it in people’s nervous laughter.
I can feel it in my chest.
I do the “superficial” thing anyway — cuz everyone else is.
Then — there’s talking over the woman at the microphone.
I look around to see if anyone else is going to shush them.
Then, at the table, there’s blatant not listening when each woman has their 60 seconds to say who they are.
I sat thinking, “I hate this.”
I sat thinking, “You’re just out of your comfort zone.”
I sat thinking, “No you’re not — you hate this.”
I had to laugh at myself.
There were good connections there.
I sought them out.
I had an intention of giving three books away.
I did that.
Those souls received that book with kind eyes.
I did make connections.
I left feeling like I could have spent my 2 1/2 hours another way.
I left unsure.
I left wondering if it was a waste of time and money.
I want this to be easier.
I want this to be organic.
I want this to be real.
I want help.
I knew four women from another networking group there.
I instantly realized none of them had talked about this one.
I felt alone.
I felt not included even though each welcomed me warmly.
I felt weird.
I thought about this the rest of the day and night.
I’m still thinking about this this morning.
I did make some good connections.
If you’re an alien like me, this mind chatter will be resonating. I’ve come to a point in my life where I just have to keep things real. And maybe that makes me even more alien, I don’t know.
What I do know is that being my badass alien self is all I have left. Living by the rules makes my heart spasm. I’ve fought my whole life to free my little alien heart. I’m not going back to the cage now.
So what’s a holistic healer to do when she wants to grow her business, get her name recognized on a bigger scale, attract super awesome ideal clients to her business, sell her book about alternative healing and light fires under all those people she was born to serve? Here are a few tips I came up with after pondering my years of trying to do traditional networking;
5 Ways to Not Fit In and Network Successfully Anyway:
- Be Your Alien Self. OMG that sounds so boring, doesn’t it? But it’s so true. Truer than any other time of my life — if I’m not being my alien self, it hurts. So I can’t go around pretending. If they don’t like me, it’s okay. I have to be feeling good in my own skin, even if it’s green with scales. I have to shut down the superficial chit chat and go for the deeper conversations. I have to be the one who shushes people at the table and helps them be aware of what they are doing.
- Practice fierce awareness. I used my opportunity to practice. I noticed. I allowed myself to feel uncomfortable and kept a sense of humor and curiosity. I sought out the folks who looked like fellow aliens. I attempted to speak their language. Sometimes that’s all it takes in a situation you’re not feeling great in.
- Write about it. This is what I do. So I posted about it in my workshop group, the one that’s full of aliens. And they helped me understand I wasn’t alone. I’m blogging about it, because being out loud is part of who I am, and the reason I was born. Someone will read this and get it to the point of feeling hope.
- Feel what’s good. Many times if I’m pushed out of my comfort zone and feel like an alien, my mind will focus on the stuff that sucks, rather than what feels good, because it’s conditioned to go there. I’ve trained it differently. So that gives me the option to seek out what feels good. There were a few women in that room that felt good. There were connections made that felt good. With awareness I have the choice to dwell in those things, rather than the other stuff.
- Be unapologetic about being an alien. It’s some of us aliens who are changing the world; giving folks different perspectives and changing the game we’re all used to playing. This goes back to number one a bit — you need to be yourself and you also need to stop apologizing for it. In fact, step into it with passion. Give yourself permission to be a little too much, whatever that means. It might be that what you’re afraid other people think of you is actually your superpower.
For all you aliens out there — I’m here, I’m with you. Yes, you are a freak, but that’s what makes you so amazing, brilliant and the force that’s changing the world. So own it. Embrace it. Find other aliens to celebrate it with. If you’re wanting a program and community of fellow aliens to help you write, speak and publish words that heal you and the world, and help attract more of the clients you were meant to serve, my signature program starts again in the Fall. Read about that HERE.
Laura Di Franco, MPT is the owner of Brave Healer Productions. She’s a published poet and author, inspirational speaker, holistic physical therapist and third-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do with over two decades of experience in healing. Her new book, Brave Healing, a Guide for Your Journey, was released by Possibilities Publishing Company June 1st! www.BraveHealer.com is where you can grab a free 30-minute call with her to learn how your story will heal the world.