Photo by Kevin Delvecchio on Unsplash

Generational Healing; 5 Ways Healing Old Wounds Automatically Helps Your Kids, no Matter How Old You Are

I’ve known the truth about how the healing I do automatically transmutes to my kids for a long time. I’ve read, learned and heard about this in multiple healing circles and communities. I want to introduce you to this idea and ask, if you won’t do the healing for yourself, how about for your kids?

The idea of trauma being passed down through generations isn’t new. The Wikipedia definition of transgenerational trauma is: Trauma that is transferred from the first generation of trauma survivors to the second and further generations of offspring of the survivors via complex post-traumatic stress disorder mechanisms. You can read about this in Psychology Today’s article: How Trauma is Carried Across Generations.

I’m interested in how we heal generational trauma; what we need to do as parents to help our children, and theirs. In my work with holistic healing I often come across people afraid of, resistant to, or just plain won’t do the difficult work of healing to better their lives. I wonder if they knew the positive ripple effect they’d create for generations to come if they’d become more open to doing the work.

So it’s my intent to help people understand the tough work they do to heal old wounds, reclaim their voice, worth and power, and come to a state of joy, peace, forgiveness and love — well this matters for them, but it also automatically positively effects their kids.

I’ve watched as my own family; mom, dad, sister and I, have navigated the vulnerable and sometimes impossible work of healing and come out on the other side into joy, worth and empowerment. And if you meet my daughter, you’ll recognize all those same things — only she’s just fifteen and she has it going on! She’s fearless, confident, caring and kind, isn’t afraid of speaking up for what she needs and wants, and feels her purpose — already!

“I feel like we’re on this weird parallel healing path,” my mom said during a recent talk. “Like when one of us does some healing, we all do it!” “Yes!” I affirmed. “That’s what they call generational healing Mom. Whatever work you do automatically helps us too.”

I have the distinct pleasure of being able to talk to my mom and sister (both healers) about deep, spiritual things. About healing and what it means to each of us. About awareness and how it’s come into our lives and transformed them. We truly have been on this journey together. We’ve all known and felt it for decades.

“If we’re healing and transforming the wounds we carry from those who came before, we’re also changing the trajectory of those who come after.” Dr. Judith Rich

Dr. Rich’s article Healing the Wounds of Your Ancestors is a fabulous summary of this idea and will help you further understand it.

What’s the work of healing here? I believe it’s awareness. When we fully wake up to our limiting beliefs about the world, based on how we’ve been raised (the beliefs of our parents and grandparents, and theirs) we have a choice to change them and adopt new, better, healthier beliefs. It’s the awareness through which the healing can happen.

Here are 5 ways I believe the healing power of your awareness can help your kids, and theirs, to live better, healthier, more joyful and conscious lives:

  1. When you’re aware you have a choice. With awareness, you can choose to think, believe and act differently than what you were once taught. This one thing might change everything about how you parent, how you love, and how you live in the world.
  2. When you’re aware you detach. With awareness comes the ability to detach from expectations and outcomes. It’s a freedom from old, conditioned thoughts, inner critic messages, limited rules and destructive behaviors. Detaching from the expectations and outcomes you think you’re supposed to have and being curious about the life being presented to you instead, gives you the chance to respond instead of react to life.
  3. When you’re aware your intuition is a super-power. Your intuition and being connected with it is the single most important thing when it comes to making clear decisions that serve and nourish your soul. As you nourish your own soul, your children automatically get a parent who feels and acts confident, nourished, calm, energetic and responsive. That’s going to be way better than uncertain, stressed out, frantic, exhausted and reactive.
  4. When you’re aware you give yourself permission to feel. And feeling is healing. So this is important. Feeling is the way to heal wounds. Feeling is the path to authentic living. Feeling is the tool with which we build our foundation of truth, expression, creativity, and awareness. Feeling is how we show others (including our kids) what it means to be human and how to navigate the world.
  5. When you’re aware you notice the opportunities and miracles. Awareness breeds positivity, purpose, gratitude and other important mindsets that are key to happiness. When you practice awareness, you’re practicing a mindset that spreads these things to those you come in contact with. Awareness opens minds, hearts and souls. And who else’s mind, heart and soul would you rather open than your own child?

“The most important thing that this world needs are people who choose to access their heart completely.” Kyle Cease

You access your heart through awareness. It’s a feeling thing. And healing generational trauma starts there too. Lets be brave people. We can do this. If not for ourselves, then how about our kids? It’s how we change the world.

You might really enjoy this movie my daughter helped me make: They Told Me is a poem/video and was a part of the Clifton Film Festival a couple years ago.

Laura Di Franco, MPT is an intuitive writing strategist, holistic physical therapist, published author and poet, and third degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do with over two decades of experience in healing. When you’re ready to begin an adventure to your soul and live the life you crave, she’s your sherpa. Grab your free copy of her new eBook: 7 Badass Habits of Next Level Living HERE! And more free inspiration on Laura’s Facebook page HERE.

Your words will change the world when you’re brave enough to share them!