“How do I know when what I want to share is inappropriate or will be looked at as unprofessional or TMI?” This’s the most common question in my writing workshops. And it’s based on old, conditioned beliefs that your real, raw, vulnerable and sometimes intensely traumatic experiences are inappropriate, unprofessional, or otherwise going to make you look bad to potential clients.
Time to believe something better.
I don’t want you to write something brilliant, and then share it and feel like your insides are about to come out. But you probably will the first time you do it. And that’s okay because…
“To be a great writer you have to do and write scary things.” Jon Morrow
Do you need to know every gory detail of all the pain I’ve been through, including the most humiliating stuff? Maybe not.
If I share something so vulnerable that you read it with tears streaming down your face because I’m the first person you’ve read who was brave enough to share a story that is yours too — then is it too much?
Think about it for a moment. Who made up the rules about what’s too much to share? And why did they make them? To protect the author? The reader? How about to silence a voice that would possibly change the world?
Who made the fucking rules you’re living by? Why aren’t you making your own?
Your real, raw, vulnerable and sometimes intensely traumatic story might change the world, if you’re brave enough to share it.
What do we have to be brave about? Usually other people judging us. Fuck, I’m so done with that.
This’s your life and your life matters; every horrible, humiliating, secret. When you share, you bring people closer together. The “me too’s” start echoing in the halls. And for once, we trust you’re the person that can handle our pain. We feel safe with you.
Healers know that they can take someone else only as far as they’ve gone themselves. Do you see? Your deepest pain is actually the reason someone reading can go through and heal theirs.
Your biggest fears, shouted out loud, are actually the reason someone else gets brave and conquers theirs. Courage is contagious.
Your sickening worries, shared with a friend, are what allows that friend to take a look at hers and open to the possibility of a solution.
Your brave message, shared with the world is what breeds awareness, the very thing that will actually change the world.
Will you feel nauseous sharing a story like this for the first time? Yes. And that’s how you’ll know it’s exactly the thing you should be sharing.
Will your inner critic, (and possibly some real outer ones) show up and rain down it’s self-sabotage on you?
And you’ll up level your awareness in those moments, align with your mission, and carry on. Those are the moments you evolve, don’t give up, heal, move through your fear, and do amazing, brilliant, brave, kickass things in the world.
Those exact moments are the ones. Even the moments when you’re dealing with actual critics.
Here’s another question I get a lot. “How can I write about my Mom if she’s still alive. I’m deeply afraid of offending my family.”
Y’all have heard of fiction, right?
And here’s another way. Write everything, in gory detail, in your journal. Don’t censor yourself and have no expectations of it being read by anyone. Do the Feng Shui you need to do, so you heal and clear a space for the words you do want to share with the world to move through.
Some writing is for the healing process. Some writing is the stuff others will read. And sometimes there’s this grey area in between when your soul is wrestling with your inner critic. One is afraid and the other craves to share out loud to free itself. I’d pick saving your own soul if I was you.
Now that you’ve heard my pep talk here are three simple questions to ask and ponder when you’re stuck in your fear and can’t share what you wrote because you feel like you might throw up:
- What’s the goal? So, how do you want people to feel when they read this? Are you meeting that goal? Can you make them feel how you want them to feel by telling a real story that still leaves you feeling good, worthy and brave?
- Will sharing heal me a little? Time to pick your own soul. Is it time to let this out and share something that will actually heal you in the writing and sharing? Can you write it in a way that leaves you feeling good, worthy and brave, and realize if it heals you, it heals the reader?
- Will this help someone else? The answer is always yes. There’s always someone waiting to hear your story in just exactly the way you’re telling it, even if they’ve heard someone else’s version before. There’s always someone waiting to whisper, “OMG, me too,” to themselves and then feel, maybe for the first time in their life, that there’s someone else who fully gets them. What if the very pain you’re still afraid to share is exactly the thing someone needs to hear to change their life for the better. Whatever that pain is — is that TMI?
Many of you will still say yes to that last question, and that’s okay. But I’ll challenge you to get creative now. What way could you tell your story that will still feel good, worthy and brave?
I’ll leave you with this again:
Your brave message, shared out loud with the world, is what breeds awareness, the very thing that will actually change the world.
Tell me in the comments, is there anything you still can’t write about?
Laura Di Franco, MPT is the owner of Brave Healer Productions. She’s a published poet and author, inspirational speaker, holistic physical therapist and third-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do with over two decades of experience in healing. She was born to build a revolution of brave healers who are getting their badass, authentic voices published in order to heal the world with their words. Her new book, Brave Healing, a Guide for Your Journey, is now on Amazon!
Wanna up-level your brave blog? Take the workshop HERE.
www.BraveHealer.com is where you can grab a free 30-minute call with me to learn how your story will heal the world.